He would not stop laughing.
While I have had my share of good and bad first dates, the one where my date laughed uncontrollably for most of it was cringy.
In case it's helpful, below are the topics covered in this post:
How We Met
We met while in-processing for the first day of our new jobs at a community college. I started my new job in instructional technology, while he - I will refer to him as Devon for this story - started his new job in information technology.
Our paths crossed many times in and out of the workplace. One day, Devon asked me out on a date. I said yes.
Date Day
Devon and I met up at the Indian restaurant. We spoke for a while outside before heading indoors. In fact, we lost track of time until our hunger became more noticeable.
After we were seated indoors, Devon started a discussion about religion, Devon rambled about how I confused him. Although I was raised with Catholic and Christian beliefs, I did not attend church. Yet, I was a goody two-shoes who did not break rules, was kind and respectful to everyone, and always had a smile on my face. Whenever possible, I tried to help others smile.
Devon complained that his church expected all women to be like me, but the women he knew were rarely "wholesome." He told me stories about "religious" exes who cheated on him, stole from him, or betrayed him in some way. None of his exes followed the rules of the church.
In his eyes, my being "wholesome" and not religious made no sense. Devon said I made him question religious hypocrisy. Because of that, he found me "interesting."
OK. Weird.
Devon slouched into his seat covering his face. After our long religious discussion, I assumed someone from his church was dining and Devon was embarrassed to be seen with someone outside of the church.
But no. It was a few of his IT colleagues. Devon explained that his colleagues knew he was nervous about our date. He said they "threatened" to show up and embarrass him. Devon did not realize they were serious.
After they saw that he noticed, they came over and teased him. They shared mildly embarrassing tidbits about Devon. They even offered to date me in his place as he unsuccessfully tried to convince them to return to their table. One guy said it would never work out because I could do better than Devon.
I started to feel uncomfortable.
His colleagues fortunately left our table when the food arrived. Devon apologized and made sure things were still good with our date. I smiled and told him everything was OK and started a conversation about education.
Devon commended me for completing my master’s degree. He said he was amazed by people who could pursue degree-after-degree without taking a break. I agreed, saying that was why I waited years in-between degrees.
My comment confused him. I explained that I worked full-time for a few years in-between degree pursuits. I waited two years after completing my associate's degree before pursuing my bachelor's degree. I then waited three years after completing my bachelor’s degree before pursuing my master’s degree.
Stunned, Devon asked, "How old are you?" I told him I was thirty years old.
"WHAT?!?!?!"
Now many eyes were upon us. This did not help my social anxiety.
Devon apparently thought I was in my late teens or early twenties with an early start in higher education. He said I looked very young for my age. He started laughing.
I then asked him the same question. Devon was twenty-two years old. For months, I thought he was my age or older. I let out a laugh and told him he looked old for his age.
Devon laughed out loud. He laughed so loudly that his colleagues returned to our table to ask what was so funny. "She's thirty years old!" His colleagues laughed along with him. One joked that I was a cougar who caught an unsuspecting prey.
While their laughter died down when they walked away, Devon continued laughing loudly. He laughed so hard that tears rolled down his face. He laughed so much that he could not eat without coughing or nearly choking himself.
People were staring. The waiter kept checking to see if Devon was alright. Another diner who overheard the age discussion asked if I needed help. One of his colleague's even came over to tell him to calm down.
But Devon could not stop laughing.
My social anxiety was high. The cringe level felt high. I wanted to leave money on the table and leave. However, I decided to finish the scrumptious food and not embarrass Devon even more by walking out on him. After all, I could not feel any worse than I did at that moment.
I tried to strike up a conversation, but he kept laughing while avoiding eye contact. When it seemed like the laughter was over, the moment he looked at me, he broke out laughing again. We did not discuss anything for the remainder of our date.
When the check came out, I paid for my meal, left a tip, and wished Devon a good day. I got out of there quickly. I could not believe he actually laughed for the entirety of our meal. Devon essentially laughed for over a half hour non-stop.
After the Date
Devon called me another day to apologize for his behavior. Based on his hysterical laughter, I told him that I assumed our age difference was a no-go for him. Age was not a factor in my family as many couples had anywhere from an eight to twelve-year difference.
He explained that he laughed because I was looking to be more "perfect" than he expected. Devon assumed I was younger because of my physical appearance and my youthful personality. Reality hit in a way that made him lose control of his behavior.
Devon asked me to give him a second chance. I agreed. At least our first date was not the worst date I have been on.
We went on a few dates over several months but struggled to find time to hang out. His dedication to his church kept him busy most evenings and weekends. At the time, I spent much of my free time with my Mom, nieces, and nephews.
When I accepted a job offer for a university in another city, Devon and I said goodbye. I have not spoken to him since.
What's Next?
On your next first date, do not be afraid to get a conversation started. You can learn so much about a person by asking the right questions. Just try not to laugh uncontrollably after hearing the answers.
Comment below to share a cringy or awkward first date.
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Thanks, and have a great day!
Simply Jelly Jam
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