Don't forget to support and appreciate military families and their children.
The Month of the Military Child started in mid-1980s where the Department of Defense (DoD) began acknowledging military children. Everyone acknowledges the fearless efforts and sacrifices made by service members, and rightfully so. Yet it's also important to acknowledge the military family, especially children of active duty service members, who sacrifice a lot on the 'homefront.' Who is the Military Child?
A military child is a child of at least one parent serving active duty in one of the 5 branches of the military: Army, Air Force, Navy, Marines, and Coast Guard.
A Military Child's Sacrifices
So, what does it mean to honor a military child's sacrifice? For a child of at least one active duty service member, it means giving up or living without something, specifically to support their loved one's mission to provide a service to their nation.
1. An active duty parent(s) is often away from home. Wherever home may be any given day, an active duty service member is essentially on-call and may need to leave, sometimes with short notice, on deployment or temporary duty assignment (TDY).
A deployment is when an active duty service member deploys to a war zone, preparation, or exercise location. A deployment implies that there's an immediate need for service members to be somewhere. The amount of time a service member is deployed varies depending on the situation and branch of the military s/he's in. It could last 180 days or longer.
There are short notice or "no notice" deployments where service members are allotted a short amount of time to pack up and say their goodbyes before leaving. This is common during times of war. When my older brother was active duty in the Army back in the 90s, we would have a day or less to say our goodbyes after he'd receive word to head off during Desert Storm. He deployed during Desert Storm several times for a year or longer.
A temporary duty assignment (TDY) is to a location other than a service member's home station. Service members typically know about their TDY in advance. They may be heading off on TDY for non-combat reasons such as to attend a school, training, or conference. TDY lasts less than 180 days, or at least it did when my Dad was active duty in the Air Force.
The terms "deployment" and "TDY" are mistakenly used synonymously, although they're not the same. It is, however, possible for a service member to TDY to a deployment location. This happened to my Dad periodically. He served as a meteorologist in the Air Force who'd know in advance that he'd have to head to a war zone to provide weather briefings to flight crews, officers, and the like before returning to his home station within 180 days.
Deployments and TDYs are common for most service members, meaning that it's common for military children to be without a parent for an extended period. Parents miss out on a part of their child's life, and it's often the part that the child really wants or needs their parent around. My Dad and brother missed out on so many award ceremonies, birthdays, holidays, and other special events to serve their country. A military child must learn to accept this and support their parent.
2. They're frequently moving. It's not uncommon for service members to change their station (location) multiple times during their time active in the military. The Department of Defense Education Activity (DoDEA) states that "the average child in a military family will move six to nine times during a school career. That's an average of three times more frequently than nonmilitary families."
My brother and his 2 oldest children moved frequently every 2 years or so. It was difficult for them because they never really had time to adjust to a change in location before being forced to change location's again. My parents separated when I was young, so I didn't move much in my youth. Yet I do remember in the 1st grade leaving Texas to go to Germany a few months into the school year. I struggled to adjust to my new school and I never knew how to make friends. I could probably write a separate blog post (or book) on my time in Germany as a child. In short, adjusting is difficult even though most of a child's classmates are in similar situations. It's especially difficult for shy, introverted children.
Moving means military children must leave friends and family behind. Miles separated them from loved ones such as grandparents, aunts, uncles, or older siblings. Yes, it's easy to communicate via phone, email, social media, or snail mail. Yet the forms of communication I noted can't beat seeing a loved one in-person and maybe giving them a warm, loving hug. I was lucky to see my Dad maybe twice a year after my parent's separated when I was 6 years old. I never saw him during a holiday or other special event, but every short time spent with him was nevertheless special. As a child, it just didn't seem often enough.
3. An active duty parent may be injured. The greatest fear and worst possible experience for a military child is to lose a parent. Having a parent return home injured isn't less scary or any easier to deal with. Towards the end of my Dad's service in the Air Force, he spent a lot of time in the hospital. It scared me to think I might lose him, especially since I didn't feel like I knew him that well due to my parent's separation. The day Mom pulled me out of school so we could rush to Alabama after an incident messed with my head. I couldn't concentrate on my schoolwork. All I could think about was my Dad's health and how I wasn't ready to lose him.
In 2005, my younger nieces and nephew dealt with the same fears following my brother's stroke post-deployment. It was an exceptionally stressful and harrowing time for our family. He spent a couple months at an Army medical center and nearly a year at a recovery center before being allowed to go home. While he's alive and well now, the events surrounding his stroke resulted in a significant lifestyle change for his immediate family and required more adjustments than relocating frequently.
Both my Dad and my brother were medically discharged from their respective branch of the military, but it was a frightening time preceding their departure that I, personally, wish never happened. At the same time, I'm grateful it didn't end worse.
The Typical Military Child
The military child typically deals with the following challenges:
Separation anxiety. Some military children feel separation anxiety when a parent is away for an extended period often.
High stress. Frequently adjusting to change in schools, friends, and homes is highly stressful for young minds. While military children are more likely to adapt to change, it doesn't come easily.
Difficulty maintaining long-term relationships. Technology nowadays makes it easier to stay in contact with long distance friends and family. However, this is assuming technology is accessible to all. There are still some who have limited access to technology or the Internet and therefore unable to communicate as often as needed to maintain a healthy, long lasting relationship with others located miles away.
While there are challenges to living in a military family, there are also possible rewards, or benefits of being a military child:
Courageousness. Military children sometimes find themselves in a position to make their own decisions. Not because they're unsupervised (although some are), but because they learn to be independent without having 24/7 guidance from both parents. This is especially the case when one (or both) parents are deployed or TDY and military children are left with another guardian for some time.
Flexibility and adaptability. Frequent changes in lifestyle, location, culture, and relationships teaches military children to be flexible in different situations and environments.
Multicultural awareness. Service members may be stationed in the U.S. or abroad, exposing military children to many different cultures and religions. Multiracial families are also common in military communities.
Independent. Because of the sacrifices made on the homefront, military children tend to be more independent once they reach adulthood.
Strong social skills. Many military children learn to develop strong social skills because they're always meeting new people, specifically when they find themselves in different or new situations and environments.
Supportive military communities. Because military families are always meeting new people, everyone they meet are part of an enormously supportive military community.
Simple Ways to Show Support
I encourage you to acknowledge military children and their family. Whether you personally know a child in a military family or is just humble civilian, there are several different ways you can show your support.
1. "Purple Up!" "Purple Up" encourages people to show their support of military families during the Month of the Military Child by wearing purple. It serves as a visual way to show one's support, respect, and appreciation, representing all branches of the military. Wear purple when you are out grocery shopping, exercising at the park, or whatever else requires you to head out of your home. At this time when we're asked to remain home and practice social distancing, consider putting some sort of the purple outdoor decor on your front door or porch.
2. Give a gift. If you personally know a military child, send them a gift. It doesn't have to be something expensive or store bought. A toy, sticker pack, activity book, gift card, snack, or greeting card is more than enough depending on your budget and the child's age. In fact, you could create a simple thank you card with purple as one of the colors used to send to a military child. It's a personalized gift that could inspire a child to try their hand at something creative.
If you don't know any military family and still want to provide a gift, donate your money, time, or other resource to a worthy cause. Many organizations do not limit their support to just civilian families.
3. Upload a social media post. Whether you use Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, or any other platform, consider uploading a post showing your support. At the least, you can temporarily change your profile picture or avatar to include some purple. For example, I modified my logo to include a simple purple background. You can use one of the following hashtags if you want your post to reach more people: #momc #motmc #milkids #kidsservetoo
What's Next?
You can Login and Sign up to show your support or share your own stories of being a military child through the comments. Don't forget to subscribe below to be notified by email when I post something new.
Resources
If you want to learn more about the Month of the Military Child, check out the resources linked below:
U.S. Department of Defense: Month of the Military Child
Military Child Education Coalition: Month of the Military Child Toolkit
Department of Defense Education Activity: DoDEA Celebrates the Month of the Military Child
Military Benefits: Month of the Military Child 2020
Military.com: Month of the Military Child
Thanks, and have a great day!
Simply Jelly Jam
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