A public diary entry in honor of Dear Diary Day.
In honor of Dear Diary Day on September 22nd, I decided to share my senior dog's rough moments this week.
NOTE: I wrote this blog post as I would write an entry in my private journal/diary. I wanted to get some things off my chest and reflect on the week anyway.
There may be grammatical and/or spelling errors, something that would exist in my informal, handwritten private entries.
In case it's helpful, below are the topics covered in this post:
Dear Diary,
So far, this week has been a rollercoaster ride for Shadow [my 15-year-old senior dog]. Here's a breakdown from Monday through Thursday:
Monday, 9/19
At some point on Monday, Shadow's back legs failed, preventing him from standing. Usually only his back left leg goes numb, but both bothered him this day. I knew something wasn't right when he didn't head to his food bowl when I served both dogs dinner around 6pm.
In times past if Shadow couldn't get up on his own, I would place my hands on his hips and lift him upright. Once standing, he would be able to move on his own. The tile floors are slick and give Shadow an extra challenge from time-to-time.
On Monday night, Shadow collapsed as soon as I got him upright. Both legs failed on him. This was a first for us.
For several hours, my Dad and I took turns massaging Shadow's arthritic legs. I periodically brought him his water bowl so he wouldn't have to move. When he did need to get up, we used a wide scarf to lift and support him. Shadow fusses and fights if we tried to carry him.
Unfortunately, Shadow couldn't take more than a couple steps at the time. Since he couldn't stand on his own and didn't have enough strength to take a few steps, he had a few potty accidents in the living room.
At some point after 11pm, Shadow stood up on his own and went straight to bed. It was an unexpected thing that happened. The worst seemed to be over.
Tuesday, 9/20
Tuesday morning, I was awakened by Rascal [my 7-year-old small dog] after he jumped onto my stomach several times. Rascal directed my eyes to Shadow who had fallen off the bed and landed on his back. My bed (just a mattress and no box spring) is only 2ft off the ground. Fortunately, it wasn't a long fall for him.
I jumped out of bed and helped Shadow upright onto his feet. I checked his joints and spine to make sure all was well. Nothing was broken. Nothing was sprained. Nothing seemed sore (in other words, Shadow never yelped, whined, or showed any visible sign of pain or discomfort). Once I lifted him upright, Shadow walked off and proceeded with his daily morning routine.
Shadow was more lethargic than usual, but he still got up at times to move. He ate and drank normally (no loss in appetite), walked out to potty as needed, walked around the house to make sure things were OK in every room, and periodically checked on Dad and Rascal wherever they were.
He was always by my side, so he didn't need to check on me. Otherwise, he spent much of the day lying on the couch and watching TV. This was great because I wanted him to take things slowly.
That night, however, Shadow laid on the tile floor when I went to shower. When I got out of the bathroom and he wanted to follow me. But he couldn't get up on his own once again.
Instead of using the scarf again, Dad asked if I would be OK with ruining the floors. I said "of course" since I've been wanting to replace the tiles anyway. Dad laid down anti-slip traction tape on the tile floors where Shadow normally liked to lay.
Fortunately, the tape gave Shadow's back paws something to grip on to so he could stand up on his own. We didn't have to use the scarf to lift him up this day.
Dad ordered a dog lift harness from Amazon.com that night. The sling he chose slides over the hind legs and has a couple loops for lifting a dog. Hopefully this would be easy to slide over Shadow's legs when he's lying on the floor. We'll check it out when it arrives later today.
Wednesday, 9/21
Yesterday was a great day! I packed some dog food, treats, Shadow's medication, and a few other items for a full day away from home. When we were ready to go, the dogs pottied in the backyard before getting into the SUV. Things were looking up, especially since Shadow appeared to be back to normal.
Within the first 15min of the drive, Shadow had an accident in the backseat. I pulled over to a picnic stop to clean and let the dogs out to potty again. Dad removed the soiled blanket that covered the backseat and laid a clean blanket I brought as a backup.
We got back on the road towards Austin, our destination for the day. Once we got there, I stopped at a park in case Shadow had to potty again. We took a short walk. Shadow seemed fine and happy. Even though it was 90+ degrees outside, it felt significantly cooler in the shade thanks to the windy breeze.
After the park, I visited Jerry's Artarama for the first time. Dad waited in the SUV with the dogs while I browsed the store. After I bought a few things and returned to the SUV, Dad headed in to check it out. We were there for an hour.
We then headed to Chipotle for takeout. We got the dogs some carnitas, something we always do when we get food from Chipotle. We went back to the same park and had a picnic.
Unlike when we went earlier, we stayed longer to enjoy the scenery and fresh air. The shade made being outdoors tolerable for Shadow. He didn't pant heavily or get hot. He also didn't want to leave later that afternoon. We don't push or force Shadow to do anything he didn't want to do, so we waited a while before he decided he was ready to leave.
After we got home last night and the dogs ate dinner and pottied in the backyard, Shadow and I watched TV for a couple hours. We went to bed before 11pm after a great day out together.
Thursday, 9/22
I woke up suddenly and my heart was racing. I thought I had a bad dream about Shadow dying, but I couldn't remember any other details of the dream. I looked at my phone thinking it was late, but it was only 1am.
As I put my phone back on the nightstand, Shadow crawled next to me in bed. Shadow's not usually a physically affectionate dog, so this seemed out of the ordinary for me. I still took advantage of this opportunity and hugged him for an hour.
Shadow's breathing was slow. He usually breathes heavily and rapidly because of his asthma, but not this morning.
During that hour, Shadow's eyes sometimes rolled back as his head slowly drifted down towards the bed. Each time I thought 'this is it,' but it wasn't. Shadow's eyes would roll back into place. He shook his head and redirected his focus on me. It seemed as if he was fighting something that was trying to take control of him.
Around 2am, Shadow stood up and moved to the foot of the bed where he normally lays. As he started to lay down, it was clear one or both of his legs failed him. Shadow ended up falling off the bed and landed on his back. Again, he only fell 2ft to the floor.
I jumped out of bed as he rolled himself onto his belly. Like Tuesday morning, I checked his joints and spine to make sure all was well. Nothing was broken. Nothing was sprained. he didn't show any visible sign of pain or discomfort. Once I lifted him upright, Shadow walked off and proceeded with his daily morning routine.
Unlike Tuesday morning, he collapsed after I lifted him upright. I used the scarf to support him as he took a few steps to one of the rough, textured tape Dad placed on the floor. He rested a while until he felt ready to stand up on his own.
Shadow had a few potty accidents today as he headed through the house towards the back door. He's only eaten some of his dog food from breakfast (it's not yet dinner time as I write this). Shadow has eaten lots of treats from the mail carrier. He also took his daily medication without issue.
Otherwise, he's still smiling, drinking regularly, watching TV (animals and people falling over videos), and standing on his own when he wants. He can also walk a short distance, but has spent much of the day laying instead.
Rascal's been keeping a watchful eye on Shadow. He won't take his eyes off our senior dog. He's even attempted to support Shadow's weight with his small body. Rascal cares for Shadow.
Dad's convinced that yesterday's carnitas are the source of Shadow's struggles today. The pessimist in me doubts it since Shadow's was unstable before yesterday, but hopefully Dad's right and the struggles will pass when the bad food passes through Shadow's system after today.
The coming days may be rough, but then again things could go back to normal if Dad's right about the carnitas. No matter what, I'll continue to give him the love and attention he deserves.
~Jam
What's Next?
If you keep a private journal or diary, today is a good opportunity to take a few minutes to write what is on your mind. It could be a great stress-relieving activity to end your day.
Do you keep a private journal or diary? Comment below to share why you do or do not keep a journal/diary.
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Thanks, and have a great day!
Simply Jelly Jam
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