Making one main objective and several wishes.
As I have done the past few years, I made myself several resolutions to work towards 2023. This time, I made myself one main objective to focus on and several wishes that would not bother me if I did not complete them.
In case it's helpful, below are the topics covered in this post:
Short Update On My 2022 Resolutions
Last January, I shared My 2022 Resolutions through this website. I started the year thinking optimistically not knowing that the pessimist within was taking a short break.
Unfortunately, I did not complete any of the resolutions I set for myself. To recap, I did not:
Start my bathroom makeover.
Participate in my first craft fair.
Self-publish a book through Amazon KDP.
Paint on a large canvas.
Take regular breaks during my days.
Do more digital drawings/doodles.
Do less procrastinating.
Learn Adobe Premiere Pro.
Attempt to use a 3D pen.
Enjoy arts, crafts, and games.
In fact, I did more of the things I wanted to do less of and less of the things I wanted to do more of.
The year 2022 was not a good year for me. Life was especially challenging the last half of the year. I lost motivation to do much of anything in life. I am surprised I did not give up on this blog website or my YouTube channel.
I was ready for the year to end after my senior dog, Shadow, died at the end of November. While Shadow's death was not entirely unexpected (he was fifteen after all), it drained me emotionally. It was difficult to lose my first ever best friend and doggy soul mate.
At the start of 2022, I knew I would not complete all my resolutions or goals. I just did not realize that I would never start any of the resolutions or goals I set for myself.
My Main Objective
I still lack motivation at the start of 2023, but I went ahead and decided on one main objective I want to complete.
At some point in 2023, preferably within the next month, I want to convert my guest/storage room into a dedicated craft room.
No relatives have visited since my Dad moved in five years ago (my parents are divorced, and Dad is not fond of some family members from Mom's side of the family), so the room is nothing more than storage right now.
I purged some furniture and items from the room last summer. I put the cleanup on hold after my senior dog's stroke last September, but I believe now is a good time to continue what I started in 2022.
Once I clean out the room, I want to paint a mural on one of the walls. If I get over my thoughts of screwing it up, I will share the experience with you through this website and/or my YouTube channel.
I will move my DIY craft cabinet and many art supplies into the room. My cabinet is currently in the dining room. While it is a decent location within a larger open floor plan, it would be nice to complete projects in a dedicated room.
Once the dining room is cleared out, I want to dedicate it to my small dog, Rascal. It will primarily be empty with plenty of space to play and a small tent or dog house as Rascal's safe retreat during thunderstorms.
Since my Dad moved in, we eat our meals in the kitchen or living room. I do not see a need for a dining table for the two of us.
Three Wishes/Goals
There are three other things I want to do, but I am not convinced that I will be able to start or complete them. Since I am uncertain that I would be able to start or complete these things, I decided to label them as wishes/goals I want to do:
Sell art/craft creation(s).
Go on a trip/vacation.
Reduce my hoard collection.
#1. Sell art/craft creation(s).
For years, I have wanted to sell my own creations at an art show, craft fair, flea market, or online source like Etsy. It should be easy since I did just that in my late teens and early twenties.
Unfortunately, my anxiety and pessimism as I get older gets the best of me. Because I do not think so highly of my skills and abilities, I always find an excuse for why I cannot sell anything now. The number one excuse I give myself is that this will be a waste of time and effort to prove to myself that I am not good enough.
But I cannot help but wonder, 'What if?'
What would actually happen if I attempted to sell a few of my creations? What if I am wrong? What if there is a small group of people (not family or friends) who like what I create?
The only way to prove myself wrong is to give it a try. My goal is to sell something. Knowing how severe my negative thoughts and anxiety can get, I consider this a wish more than a goal.
#2. Go on a trip/vacation.
While I have visited my Mom several times this past year, I do not consider it a fun time since Mom's house always makes me sick (literally).
I was supposed to stay with her through the winter holidays and leave next week, but my health declined rapidly. I considered going to an ER but decided to leave on New Year's day to recover in my own home.
I will be visiting my Mom often this year, but I do not consider trips to her house a vacation. To me, a fun trip or vacation would be somewhere I do not visit often.
My last day trip out of town (not to Mom's house) was when I visited a Jerry's Artarama for the first time in September 2022. My last vacation (again, not to Mom's house) was September 2021.
I am ready to enjoy some time away from home.
#3. Reduce my hoard collection.
I have a lot of useless, unnecessary items. Most of these items reside in my guest/storage room. There are a few things in the attic as well.
While a few items were things I bought years ago and later decided not to use or display anymore, most were gifts I already had or did not have a need for.
When I bought my house nine years ago, I went ahead and bought everything I wanted and needed. I asked people not to get me anything. I did not set up a registry. I never hosted a housewarming party. I did not expect anything from anyone.
Of course, there were people in my life who gave me housewarming gifts. I am grateful for the wonderful, caring people in my life. I realized that while they did not need to get me anything, they chose to give me items they believed would be useful in my new home. I am special in their eyes, and I am grateful for them.
I felt uncomfortable re-gifting or donating to a thrift store the items I had duplicates of or did not have a need for. I believed it would be ungrateful and rude of me to get rid of an item someone put thought and money into. Therefore, I have a hoard collection I never intended to have.
As a single person, I do not need so many things. It did not help when my Dad moved in with his own collection of useless, unnecessary items still sitting in boxes collecting dust.
A lot of these items are in my guest/storage room. I believe there are a few small boxes in the attic as well. If I do stick with my main objective for this year, then I will be able to complete this wish/goal to reduce my hoard collection.
Reminders
As a reminder to myself, I noted things I wanted to:
Do more...
Do less...
Learn...
#1. Do more...
I want to do more with my small dog, Rascal. For over seven years, Rascal was never apart from my senior dog, Shadow. Now he is the sole dog of the house.
Shadow played a large part in raising and training Rascal. I only taught Rascal how to "leave it" on command with vocal and verbal cues. Shadow taught Rascal everything else.
My dogs did everything together. I even scheduled their appointments together. Rascal was at the appointment when Shadow died. They did everything together until Shadow took his last breath.
I always joked that Rascal was part chicken. I do not know what life was like before I adopted him, but he was often fearful. However, he quickly calmed down when he could hide under Shadow.
Nowadays, Rascal is learning to be braver. He has fearful moments where he runs behind me, but we are working on letting his brave spirit shine through more. He is getting better at doing things without Shadow and without trying to run away.
I will continue to work with him as he adjusts to being an only dog. I will also continue to spoil him rotten. Unlike some dogs, extra love and attention does not promote unwanted behaviors from Rascal. He deserves to know that I love him so much and that I am proud of the brave dog he has become.
#2. Do less...
I want to do less self-doubting. I am a pessimist. I am great at putting myself down. If you have not already figured it out from this or other blog posts, I do not think that highly of myself.
Deep down inside, I know I am a good person with a good heart. I do now swear (much). I do not smoke or drink alcohol. I do not judge people before I get to know them.
I do my best, even if my best is awful or ultimately pointless.
I used to put others before myself. I was taught that focusing on oneself was selfish and inconsiderate. I always feel guilty when I think about myself. In case you are wondering, I feel guilty writing about my resolutions instead of thinking about what I should be doing to care for my parents, dog, and others. That is how I was raised.
I want to go ahead and be more selfish this year. I want to focus on me. After all, I can only live my life, not anyone else's.
In past blog posts and on my About page, I mentioned that I have taken time "to focus on my own self-care." I am sorry. I lied.
For years (most my life), I have spent much of that time doubting my worth. It is easy to do since I have been told many times in my past that I am not good enough or that I am not worthwhile.
Yes, there are good people in my life that try to remind me that my life is worthwhile, but it is hard to believe that after forty years of being belittled by others.
This year, I want to doubt myself a little less. I want to be more optimistic about things and less fearful about how I may fail in life. Hopefully, I will have less anxiety and panic attacks if I can convince myself that it is alright to just do my best.
#3. Learn...
Having worked in education for so long, I am fascinated with learning new things. While I did not learn how to use Adobe Premiere Pro or a 3D pen in 2022, I did learn several new things like needle felting basics, simple animation in Adobe Photoshop, and how to cook Bistek.
This year, I want to learn more about needle felting. It is a new stress relieving activity I adopted. While I have not shared much about my needle felting experience, it is something I have done casually while watching TV.
I also want to try making epoxy resin tumblers using a tumbler turner. I do not own a tumbler turner, but I may cough up a few dollars to buy one at some point this year. Maybe it could be a birthday present for myself this spring!
My Thoughts
By establishing a main objective as my resolution, I hope I will find the motivation to complete it at some point this year.
It would be great if I created a dedicated craft room by the end of this month, but the second half of last year reminded me that my plans and hopes may change at a moment's notice.
My three additional wishes/goals are a little less important to me than my main objective. While I would love to complete them, I will do my best not to feel guilty if I do not get around to them.
Hopefully I remember to refer to my reminders periodically. I am not worried about achieving what I want to do more of or learn in 2023. Even if I do not learn more about needle felting or tumbler turning, I know that I will learn something new.
I am concerned that I will not remember to doubt myself less this year. It is a bad habit to doubt my skills and abilities to do anything. If I can doubt myself less this year, then maybe I will be able to take risks that I have been avoiding for years. Who knows?
What's Next?
If in another week I do not believe I can complete my resolutions, I can always take part in Ditch New Year's Resolution Day on 17 January.
Have you made your resolution for 2023? Comment below to share your main objective(s) and wishes for the new year.
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Thanks, and have a great day!
Simply Jelly Jam
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