In honor of National Redhead Day and National Love Your Red Hair Day celebrated on November 5th in the US.
In honor of National Redhead Day celebrated on November 5th, not to be confused with World Redhead Day on May 26th, I wanted to reminisce about my first redhead friend from elementary school.
In case it's helpful, below are the main points covered in this post:
"Frank"
I met "Frank" on the first day of second or third grade. Our cubbies (for storing our backpacks, jackets, and lunchboxes), desks, and placement in line were right next to each other.
The bright red color of his hair fascinated me! I was so obsessed with his hair. I made it a point to befriend Frank. Fortunately, it was not hard to do because we had a lot in common.
Our elementary school opened its first computer lab that school year, and our class was one of the early adopters of computer skills education. The class was very basic. We were assigned computer stations (my computer was next to Frank's) and learned computer basics.
My favorite part of class was playing Oregon Trail. Frank enjoyed it, too. Our class was given an option to enjoy recess outdoors or in the computer lab. I always loved playing on the playground, but chose the computer lab after Frank chose that option. I always wanted to be with my favorite redhead.
Relentless Teasing
As a child, I had a bad habit of teasing people I liked. My Mom teased me relentlessly, so I believed it was a form of affection.
I teased Frank a lot. He often rolled his eyes and smiled. Sometimes, he called me stupid. I always smiled when he called me stupid. (I was not a smart kid.)
Most of the teasing took place when we were working as partners on a class project or hanging out in the computer lab. I especially enjoyed teasing him when he failed at keeping his people alive in Oregon Trail.
Frank teased me as well. He always had a witty comeback to things I said. I loved it when I could not think of my own clever comeback. Our back-and-forth felt like a fun game to me.
One day, a few of our classmates called him "carrot head." Frank was visibly frustrated. I could not understand why he did not respond with one of his awesome witty comebacks. After they walked away, he said under his breath, "My hair's red, not orange."
I was excited by the point he made. I smiled, turned to him, and called him "apple head." I remember him glaring at me and letting out a smile. I thought it was the perfect nickname for him. I only called him that in private because I did not want other kids to call him that. It was my special nickname for Frank!
Lesson About Bullying
For weeks (months, maybe), I called him "Frank" in class, but "apple head" in private. Frank never said anything. He even tried to come up with a nickname for me, but it changed every few days because he could not think of a good one.
One day while we were waiting in the hallway for something, a group of classmates came over and said some things to Frank that I do not recall. I do recall Frank running off while crying.
He returned with a teacher and pointed out the classmates that made him cry. Those kids were sent to the principal’s office. The rest of our class was returned to the classroom and given an impromptu lecture about bullying. It was my first time learning about the topic.
I felt horrible. I realized that my teasing matched the signs of bullying. I had been unknowingly bullying my redhead friend for months. I knew I had to apologize.
During recess in the computer lab, I apologized to Frank for bullying him. He was confused and asked what I was talking about. Although it was hard, I shared detailed the comments I made to him and the names I called him. I told him that I did not know I was bullying him. I was sorry and understood if he did not forgive me.
I asked why he never reported me to our teacher? Frank, who had been silent since the incident earlier that morning, said he knew it was friendly teasing. I was confused. I asked him to explain.
Frank said he knew I liked him, otherwise I would not have hung out with him every chance I had. We chatted non-stop whenever possible. I hung out with him when, unbeknownst to me, nobody else wanted to. (I did not understand this because I thought he was the coolest and smartest kid in our class.) Frank enjoyed my company and was happy to call me his friend.
He then said something I hope I will never forget. Frank said, "I could tell your name-calling was to make me smile or laugh. But their name calling was supposed to hurt me. I can tell the difference." I cried.
Frank was absent for a few days. When he returned, we continued enjoying each other's company, but I quit teasing him and calling him "apple head."
One day, he asked me why I stopped teasing him. I told him that I did not want to accidentally hurt his feelings. He said he liked it when I teased him and promised to let me know if I hurt his feelings. I said it was no problem.
I asked him if it hurt when I used to call him "apple head." Frank asked if I wanted to call him by that name. I said yes. He said I could call him “apple head” if nobody heard it.
"Apple head" and I were good friends for the whole school year. Unfortunately, military family life separated us, and I never saw him again. I hope Frank is doing well and proud of his red hair.
What's Next?
In honor of National Redhead Day celebrated on November 5th, let your favorite redhead(s) know how much you appreciate them!
Comment below to talk about your favorite redhead that made a difference in your life!
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Thanks, and have a great day!
~Simply Jelly Jam
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