All because I was a girl.
I was unable to have the toys I wanted most of all as a kid because, as my mother and grandmother explained to me, I was a girl.
In case it's helpful, below are the topics covered in this post:
Background
Growing up, my Mom and Lola ("grandma" in Tagalog) believed in the old-fashioned gender stereotypes. Such stereotypes included, but not limited to:
Men are superior to women.
Men are physically and emotionally strong.
Women are physically and emotionally weak.
Men are the primary household providers.
Women are responsible for ensuring men's health and happiness.
Men took priority over women.
Men do not do any household chores (cooking, cleaning, dishes, laundry, etc.).
The color blue represents men/boys.
The color pink represents women/girls.
There were more stereotypes Mom and Lola believed in, but I am saving those as topics for future blog posts.
The stereotype that bothered me most as a kid was the distinction between "boys’ toys" versus "girls’ toys." I apparently loved and wanted the wrong gender toys growing up.
Below are three types of toys I loved but could not own as a kid because of my gender according to Mom and Lola.
Toy Cars
Cars were "boys’ toys," but I enjoyed playing with them more than dolls and kitchen playsets I was permitted to keep. They were small, easily portable, and so much fun to race or roll them across various surfaces.
Unfortunately, any time I got a toy car, Mom or Lola gave it away or sold it. I would then be lectured by Mom about why it was a "boys’ toy" and why I could not play with it. Even then, her explanations never made sense to me.
When I was eight or nine years old, one of Mom's friends bought me a remote control (RC) Barbie car. Mom got angry and yelled at her friend about how a girl should not play with cars or other boy toys in front of me.
Her friend explained that it was "technically a girl's toy" because "boys don't play with Barbies." Mom accepted the explanation and allowed me to keep the car. I was so grateful for Mom's friend, especially since I was not normally allowed to keep gifts from anyone other than Mom and Dad.
My love for toy cars never died. Years ago, I bought Hot Wheels for work. (I selfishly kept a few models I liked.) When I gave a presentation, I typically ended with a phony game show to recap the topics I discussed and engage attendees through to the very end.
I offered the 'winner' a brand-new car and a mini iPad. In the end, all attendees/contestants won prizes. Those who were brave enough to participate on stage with me were presented a Hot Wheels toy in its original packaging (the brand-new car) and a miniature notepad with a lower case "i" drawn on it (the mini iPad). It was a fun way to end a presentation!
Five years ago, I got interested in hobby-grade RC cars. I have not used any since my senior dog passed away last year (depression), but I hope to use them again and help my puppy become accustomed to them.
Building Blocks
Lincoln Logs, K'NEX, Legos, and other building toys were things I enjoyed playing with. I preferred creating things with my hands, especially if I could go rogue and ignore instruction manuals. I imagined how I could use them with other toys, like a multi-car garage for cars or a custom-built house for dolls.
As with toy cars, Mom or Lola gave it away or sold it. I was told that playing with building blocks filled my head with a fictional belief that I could work in architecture or related "manly" career women should not work in.
Fortunately, I eventually got my wish after my Dad bought me my first Playmobil set. The Playmobil Lions Knight Castle was one of my favorite Christmas gift ever!
Mom initially did not want me to have it because it was a "boy's toy," but she caved in and let me keep it after I through a massive temper tantrum (I was seven years old). We agreed that from that day forward, I could keep everything Dad gave me.
There was one caveat. I could not let Lola know about it. Whenever Lola visited, which was often, we hid the playset in the back of Mom's closet. That was a secret I happily kept from Lola.
Lola would not have cared that it came from Dad who I only saw twice a year and lived on the other side of the globe. The "boys’ toy" would have disappeared if she had any say in it. I still have the playset today.
I have always wanted to own large Lego sets but have yet to get it for myself as an adult. Sadly, the sets that interest me most are not cheap.
One day I hope to get myself a set like The Mighty Bowser or Lamborghini Sian FKP 37. If a rumor I heard about a Disney Stitch Lego set for release in 2024 is true, then that will be my first big Lego set purchase.
Construction Toys
Like building toys, I loved construction toys because I could imagine collecting materials to build something of my own creation. I wanted to use construction toys (dump truck, bulldozer, excavator, etc.) to collect building toy pieces and transport them to another location where I would later build something awesome.
When I was well-behaved or made straight A's in school, Mom would treat me to any one thing I wanted from the local Pick 'n Save store. We would walk to the toy section where I would point out a construction site playset.
To my surprise, Mom bought me a construction site playset. It came complete with machinery, tools, cones, and mini figures. I loved it more than dolls and any other 'girly' toys I had!
Unfortunately, the playset would disappear every time my Lola visited. Mom would buy me construction playsets several more times, but they always disappeared when Lola visited. This was before dad gifted me the Playmobil Lions Knight Castle set.
I never cared for construction toys afterwards. I was happy with the Playmobil sets my Dad gifted me over the years. However, my interest in construction toys sparked after I adopted my first dog, Shadow.
Shadow was fascinated by construction machinery. If we were to pass a construction site by foot/paw, he would stop in his tracks to watch the 'men at work' for a while.
When I gained interest in hobby-grade RC vehicles a few years back, I wanted to get a hobby-grade RC excavator or bulldozer that I could use in my yard. A strong vehicle that would withstand yardwork is not cheap, but it could be a way to make a boring (to me) task fun. I could also use an excavator to help my puppy dig for rocks in the backyard.
What's Next?
Now that I finished writing this week's blog post, I will waste a few hours enjoying some online window shopping for toys I wanted but could not have as a kid. Then maybe I will take care of some chores later.
Comment below to describe the toy(s) you wanted as a kid but could not have!
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Thanks, and have a great day!
Simply Jelly Jam
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